You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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