Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
