i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
