I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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