He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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