Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
