therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
