hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
