I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
pray to the hookup gods
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