just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
