i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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