i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
