How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize