I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
try to milk me bitch
Randomize