Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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