Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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