Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
