found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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