The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
