Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
