Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
