I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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