i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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