He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
