this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
