Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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