I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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