Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
