did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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