The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
