Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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