Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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