He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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