dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I see more hoeing in ur future
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
