Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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