We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
tell me about the eggs
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