Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
