we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
