At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
