i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
