Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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