Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
