Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
