As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
