just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think my vagina is haunted
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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