I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
