We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
