I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
