i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
