it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
