How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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