literally had 100 drinks last night.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
