Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
