Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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