Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
