The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
