I'm jealous of your bromance
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
