the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
jump out the window naked night went bad
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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