i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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