Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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